So i was going to start blogging our journey to ivf from the start but as it happens in im the midst of it again so thought i would do a quick write now of where im at before i forget. We had 1 embryo left to use and finally saved enough funds to use it. I have been on meds the last 3ish weeks and went on Friday 27 and had our embryo transferred.
It has been a pretty stressful few weeks and last week i just felt ill with it all, waiting for the clinic to ring and tell me if it had thawed out successfully was just horrid and of all days it was on Paytns birthday. So the poor girl hasnt even had a birthday party yet, daycare gave her a small one for me which was great. We headed to Christchurch Thurs afo and info the clinic 8am Fri morning for the transfer. Not a experience i wish to go through again. The transfers are always painful and this one was exceptionally painful.
The dr could see my endometriosis all around my cervix and it took a bit of trying to get my cervix into the right place to insert the tube to put the embryo in. Had to do alot of deep breathing and had a few tears. Thank goodness Paytn was with us so i had to really concentrate on not swearing!! Im so glad its all done now the hard part has started the waiting. I have to say this is the most horrid part for me. In the past it has always been difficult but im really feeling the pressure of this been our last chance to have another baby. So i have been very emotional, i dont seem to bad during the day but nights are the worst i just end up in tears.
Im trying to remain positive but trying to be realistic as well so its not as far to fall if it fails. My cycle would normally be due about now so im starting to get cramping and pain and the feeling its on the way, then i have a few hours where i feel very pregnant. Its just so cruel not knowing i will just have to keep waiting until end of next week and hope my cycle doesnt start in the meantime. Im not to sure how im going to deal with it all if i arent pregnant. I will have to brace myself for all the "well at least you have Paytn" or "well you can just adopt" comments. Yes im so so lucky to have our girl but why on earth would anyone think that would make me feel better???
I cant switch that maternal drive off to have another pregnancy it just cant be done i know ive tried lol. Ive had to deal with not been able to have a biological baby of my own (which is a long story i will post soon about) so im kinda feeling im entitled to have another baby via a pregnancy.
On a funny note, I have to insert pogesterone pesseries 3 times a day. Paytn come in to the bathroom this morning while i was doing this she looked at me very puzzled and said 'mum why are you putting vitamins in your fanny' pmsl it was the funniest thing. I explained they were pesseries to help the embryo grow. We get to daycare and she said to her teacher 'my mum put things in her fanny this morning what were they mum? you know those vitamin things' then the teacher got a lesson on what they do haha.
Well i shall keep a update on how the dreaded 2 week wait goes. One week almost down yay.
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