Acceptance a word, emotion, action this is something i never thought i would do is accept my situation. i have to admit im a bit suprise at how quickly i have come to this point. I mean 4 week ago if someone had told me "its ok you will come to accept it and deal with it" i would have told them to buggar off ( in a nice way of course i mean i wouldnt want to rock that good karma right) But i actually do feel a huge sense of acceptance and a sense of ok then this is what i have been dealt, yip is damn crappy, but im going to get through this and do the majority of it with a smile.
People i think find me strange, im laughing about it and laughing in general. I actually feel really happy and have a sense of grounding i havent felt in years. Im taking more enjoyment in the little things and now taking more time to sit enjoy my family and everyday life. Its prompted me to get wills sorted, get our house organised, im in the process of doing a photo album up to get printed as a book for my daughter. Im starting with her first 5 years so she will always have a keep sake of all those little things that are just in my head.
This will sound really odd but in a way im kinda grateful that im going through this it is giving me such a different out look on life and how we are living our lives. Dont get me wrong i am not at all one bit happy about the surgery and recovery i will have to endure and i am going to try and remain positive that i will be that 50% that will beat this. If i end up not been then i am lucky i should have about 10-15 years (they really have no idea) to live my life to the best of my ability.
Sooo acceptance is a kinda nice place to be right now. We still have alot of stresses to work through with regards to recieving my surgery and finances (will be the next post on this drama) but im stearing my energys and time into alternatives to help me through this and give me the best chances of remission i can.
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